Friday, 28 January 2011

Things I'm not loving about losing 100lbs

Some of the things I'm not so much loving about having lost over 100lbs:

1.)  Acquaintances (like the mother's of some of 5-year-olds' classmates) I see only once or twice a year don't recognize me.  This has made for several awkward situations and reintroductions.  And, it makes me realize that people remembered me much because of how fat I was instead of my nice smile, pretty hair, fabulous style, or good (insert positive character attribute).

2.)  Even people I knew very well a few years ago say things like "Gosh, I almost didn't recognize you!" or "I wouldn't have known you if you'd passed me on the street!"  This makes me feel sad in a way I cannot quite put to words.  It's like the fat was hiding me, and I'm now realizeing that people who I thought knew me and loved me really couldn't see passed my size, and because of that, now they don't know me at all.

3.)  The first thing people say to me in any conversation is usually about my weight or size or how I look:
"MY!  How much weight have you lost?!"
"You SHRUNK!!"
"You look GREAT!!" 
It's nice to hear those things, but after the millionth time, I really would love for someone to ignore it and just say, "It's great to see you! How have you been?"  instead of the barrage of questions that leads me to #4; 

4.) I'm expected to lay my whole story out on the table.  I'm expected to discuss how fat and unhappy I was when they ask how it started.  I'm expected to share how I've "done it" or what my "secret" is.  I'm even often expected to share how much more I want to lose.  To me these things feel private.  It just seems like everyone wants to stick their fingers into my insecurities and wiggle them around. 

I am still the same person I was when I was 100lbs fatter.  I have evolved, yes.  But, the core of who I am is no different.  I am still me.  I just changed up the outside, just like a new wardrobe or style. 

When I was fat, most people didn't dare to mention "weight" in my company.  It just wasn't talked about, it was Taboo and considered to be in poor taste.  Now, it seems to be the only thing anyone wants to talk to me about. 

4 comments:

  1. Thanks for this post. I don't think people mean any harm by saying they wouldn't have recognized you. I think they think they are complimenting you. But now reading this, I will think twice about saying comething like that because I probably would. But I woulld never expect "the full story" now I will say what I would normally say "great to see you" I will end it with "you look great by the way" thx for teaching me something important today!!

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  2. It's funny, isn't it? I'm around 60-70 down from my highest, but I can completely relate to some of these feelings. People mean to be complementary, but after awhile, you just start to wonder if you really looked that horrible before? I mean, I KNEW I didn't look my best. I KNEW I was fat, but I just didn't really realize that everyone else thought so. After awhile it just made me really sad. The awful part is I've done this exact thing to others since then. It's hard - you really do mean it as a complement. Thanks for the reminder!

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  3. I second everything you and Maude said. I have those same feelings, and I don't really know what to do with them. On the one hand, I would be hurt if no one noticed the progress I have made. On the other hand it bugs me that my weight seems to be the only thing people see sometimes.

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  4. Oh, I so here you...yes, you are the same person. We have a woman in our office that, when another woman lost weight, she yelled across the office, "You've lost a TON of weight. How much have you lost?" How embarrassing. Not everybody like the attention. I always say (especially to people I don't know that well)..."Wow, you look fantastic." Or, "I love your outfit. You're looking good." Why point out the obvious?

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