Friday, 8 April 2011

Spinning my wheels

Hello all!  I'm sorry I've been missing these last few days.  Just been feeling quiet lately...  Dawn, I'm sorry you're not feeling well, I had no idea you could get tonsillitis without having tonsils.  Cat, congrats on your digital mag, it is beautiful.  Candy, great job on almost weighing less than your hubs!  I've read about the rest of you also- just really haven't felt much like socializing.

It's kinda been one of those weeks for me.  I've got a lot going on inside my head right now and it's been making it easy to eat and over indulge.  I have put a decent dent into my Weight Watcher's weekly points and I won't be expecting a loss at weigh in tomorrow.  Oh well, I'm sure it won't be the last time that happens.  I am tracking everything and am well aware of my over consumption.

I'm struggling with a few things in my life right now.  In the next 6 months or so there will be a lot of changes going on in my life: A trip out of state to visit family, getting a second job to hone my MT skills, getting a second car for hubby to use so that we can move into a new house in September, plus, I'm still really having a lot of aching in my joints.  I'm questioning the ability for these future plans to come into fruition and it basically has me in a stand still.  I need to start making calls and submitting my resume' to get a new job, but I'm feeling a bit timid.  What if I can't do it?  What if I'm hired and it is too hard to work both jobs?  What if I'm fired?  I hate the possibility of rejection, but I'm well aware that the only way to fail is to never have tried.  *sigh*  It's just a lot of weight on my shoulders right now and I'm feeling the need to let it settle a bit before attempting to move forward.

I did go on brisk walks pushing 10-month-old in the stroller for an hour twice this week, and I spent most of today on my feet as well.  Toward the evening though, it's about all I can do to stay still with my aching joints.  Using them makes them ache so that even when I'm resting it's very hard to feel comfortable.  My back, my hips, my knees, my ankles all ache like I've been jumping on rubber all day long.  You'd think after losing almost half of your body weight that a thing like that would improve, but for me, it really hasn't.  I really should go to see a doctor about it, but like I said, we currently don't have insurance.  And, on top of that- I REALLY hate doctors.  Like REALLY a lot.  I've just had SOO many bad experiences with them.  Funny that I'm going to be an MT, I know, but there you have it.

So, I'm not at the top of my game right now.  But I know I won't keep sliding either.  I won't sit here spinning my wheels forever.  I will write up my resume this weekend and begin making calls Monday morning on the job front.  Not sure what I'm going to do about the rest of it yet, but you've got to start some where, and that seems like as a good a place as any. 

I'm really so thrilled that you all are making things happen!  Please keep posting so that maybe I can steal a bit of inspiration and motivation from you!

6 comments:

  1. HUG! Im sorry your feelin a little down :( just hang in there Hun you are a great person and great things happen to people like you! Times like these dont last forever and before you know it all will be bright and sunshiney again! Im always here if ya need to talk :)

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  2. hugs Cole
    there is a season for everything....I get the feeling quiet and not at the top of your game and you knwo what friend....it is OK! Yup it is. The is a constant ebb and flow going on around us and sometimes that flow takes us down a few notches...and it is time for quiet, time for reflection, to to maybe peal off another layer of that which keeps us from being all we can be. I know you will get your mojo back, in the meantime know what an amazing woman you are, know that you can totally do this new job thing, and know that you desreve all your dreams come true!
    You have been on such an amazing journey, it so doesn't stop here!!!

    love and light to you♥

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  3. ps this is going to sound weird....but I think it is time for you to have some fun and go bra shopping....lol...seriously..like Victoria Secret bra shopping!

    ; )

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  4. For your joints, try MSM and turmeric. I have arthritis through out my body and these help a lot. Good luck. Carla

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  5. Today, the antibiotics are working and I'm feeling brighter again! Thanks for asking xx
    You have so much to offer any employer - you come over as strong, determined, single minded and thoughtful. Put your best positive thoughts into that resume and go for it!
    Dawn

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  6. Hang in there Cole! I know what you are going through and its frustrating when our bodies can't keep up. We punished them dearly when we were overweight, just have patients and determination. Doctors stink, but most of the time know what their talking about. I had a doozy time with them awhile back. Good luck on the job front.

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