Granny went back into the hospital again on Friday morning. And, of course, my parents were out of town, so I had to deal with the whole thing on my own from start to finish. SO freakin stressful to be 26 and having to be completely responsible for the life story in medical terms for someone other than yourself. But, I cannot roll my eyes any further back into my brain without going into a "this is so f*ckin ridiculous" seizure. Don't get me wrong, I'm sure being 85 years old sucks completely, but Granny is TOTALLY over dramatic about EVERYTHING and, she has a knack for making people feel badly about themselves. Nothing is ever good enough for her and her expectations of the world and the people around her are off the charts retarded.
Anyway, I didn't mean to make this post about her. I wanted to tell you about me. You see, for the past two days I've been stuck in the hospital at the beck and call of the fuhrer herself. And today, I ended up punishing myself for it by emotionally over-eating. I did snack on fruit and cereal, but by the time my parents managed to race back into town and relieve me from my post 32 hours later, I was ravenous and hubby drove me immediately to the local pizza joint and I ate twice as much as I would have had I eaten regularly throughout the day and exercised. I also had to skip my regular weigh-in and WW meeting. I think maybe I was just feeling bitter over it? I was angry. And stressed. And exhausted beyond belief having slept in a hospital chair for no more than 3 hours.
I still didn't eat as much pizza as I used to (before I started weight watchers.) But, I ate more than my body needed for sustenance and satiation. I skipped my usual pre-pizza salad I usually try and fill up on and went straight to pizza. I knew I was going to eat more than I needed to when I walked into the restaurant. I had no resolve to eat healthfully, my only restraint was to stick to vegetarian, and not to eat like I used to by leaving sooo full that I wanted to puke. So, as far as those goals go, I did stick to my "plan."
I wish I knew why I did/do this. I wish I knew what it was that makes me equate eating as a viable solution to relieve my anxiety and stress. I'm going to post more about this later, but as I mentioned...I am beyond tired right now. My belly is full, I'm in my pajamas, I'm warm and safe back at home with Hubby and Bean and I can barely see the screen through my lion yawns.