Wednesday, 26 September 2012

Dealing With Disappointment

So I weighed in at me meeting tonight at 1.5 UP and pretty much threw a hissy fit on Facebook over it. I'm not a crier (crying is just about against my religion), but I did shed a tear tonight.

I did everything right! I pre-planned-pre-cooked, pre-pared and sweated my ass off in the gym earning myself 30! activity points! I did not even touch my extra weeklies!

I know there are a million reasons that could explain my gain, but the disappointment I felt was like a ton of bricks tonight. I managed to wear a brave face in my meeting, but On the way home, I lost it. I just felt heavy, fat, and full of disappointment in myself. My negative voice's volume went through the roof with the snide comments about being a failure, about not ever being good enough.

I made it home and even though I was starving (having eaten lightly all day in anticipation of a fantastic weight in), I I just can't seem to make myself go eat my dinner. Like I don't deserve to eat because I gained instead of lost. Absurd, I know! But, like I said, my negative voice is very seriously LOUD tonight.

I have a dichotomy within me. Reality tells me weight loss is science, just keep going. But emotionally...well...yeah...

Luckily I have an amazing support group to talk me off the ledge (figuratively, of course). I'm ready for today to be over. I will wake up tomorrow refreshed and carry on my war.

Monday, 24 September 2012

Today, We cook!!

I cooked...and cooked...for about 6 hours. This always happens, the moment autumn shows up all I want to do is hole up in my cozy kitchen and stock up for the winter.

Today I made:
6 Chicken Cordon Bleu
3 Breaded Chicken Tenderloins
6 servings mashed cauliflower
Riced 5 cups of cauliflower for pizza crusts
6 servings of apple stuffing
8 servings of Red bean, Sausage, and Rice Soup
4 twice baked potato halves
A ration of turkey bacon
6 servings steel cut oatmeal

Shew!!! All that standing in the kitchen and my weights class this morning have my legs aching!

Craving cornbread so I'm thinking a pan of that will be making an appearance this week as well...

Do any of you feel the need to prepare for hibernation? It doesn't even really get all that cold where I live now but I still have the urge to stick my freezer!

Sunday, 23 September 2012

Menu Planning at Midnight

Menu Planning at Midnight on a Saturday night. Yep, party at C's house!! This how I menu plan, with index cards that have the ingredient list and directions for each recipe. If a recipe makes more than one serving, the I write out the name of the recipe on a card for each serving. Not only does this method help me plan a healthy weeks worth of food, but I can also make my grocery list easily, use up coupons, and keep an inventory of my freezer and all the leftovers, so I don't get too bored eating the same thing for 4 or 5 servings/meals.

I'm working on a display board so that I can keep all my cards up, but as it is now, I just flip through them by day. I cook one day (usually grocery day) a week, anything else that's made mid week either has to be crock pot or pressure cooker. Helps me keep my sanity so that I don't feel likeIm spending my whole life in the kitchen.

How do you meal plan?

Thursday, 20 September 2012

In a Good Place...

My beautiful, wonderful, genius, triathlete SIL, Nancy, (HI!!) messaged me that she'd been sharing my success with her friend (HI FRIEND!) through the blog, and I realized that my last post was leaving a bit to be desired...

It's been awhile.  This blog has really fallen to the weigh-side (haha, punny!) for me.  It's not that I'm not here and in the struggle, in the moment, and constantly working toward improving my health mentally and physically.  It's just that I'm so busy doing all those things and tracking my intake and my activity, and planning my menus, and talking to people about it, walking the walk and talking the talk, that I really don't feel a strong to desire to come home and write about it, too.

So I'm just updating as life presents itself with little bits of my life that I want to share or remember.  Sometimes pictures, sometimes recipes, sometimes crying or yelling, sometimes success and sometimes failure.  This is my life and my struggle and in so many ways I'm thankful it's not more.  I'm grateful that my struggle is in eating too much rather than not having enough to eat...

I'm exercising at least 5 times a week.  I'm pretty much in love with step aerobics right now, but also taking 2 weights classes each week.  Because of this, my muscles are strong and I can see the tone.  I am fit and don't generally feel too out of breath even at the height of my cardio classes.  I am able to complete two classes in one day occasionally without much soreness or recovery necessary.  My body feels lean and I can fit in all the clothes in my closet (with the exception of my "Goal Garment", a winter coat that is a size too small still).  I feel strong and fit, and have lots of energy.  I'm sleeping well and feeling happy and positive.  I am down a jean size and bought my first pair of skinny jeans last week. :)

 I'm tracking everything I eat and staying within my points ranges.  I'm eating healthy whole foods, cooking at home, and keeping it interesting with new recipes and kitchen gadgets.  Right now I'm learning how to use my pressure cooker and am pretty excited with the results!  Today I made Green Bean Casserole (not in pressure cooker) in honor of autumn finally arriving with cooler mornings and evenings and less humidity.  And, also because Cupcake has been asking for it since LAST Thanksgiving. LOL  It's one of her favorites, so I found a lightened up recipe and I know she will be so excited!

A friend I met through WW about two years ago has created her own support group called Be Healthy, Feel Beautiful and we've been chatting it up all over Facebook.  It's really awesome to have a group of people who are so supportive.  Additionally, my very favorite WW meeting leader has returned this September, so I'm back to going to meetings, too!  It really does seem to make all the difference to have accountability!  At my weigh-in last night I was down SEVEN pounds so far this month which puts me at 194.2, that is 6 lbs below my "ceiling"!  WOOoooo!

I'm in a good place.  I am succeeding and so happy to be out of the doldrums I was in for the last few months.  I read your blogs and comment occasionally.  It's nice to know that you guys are still stopping by here every once in awhile, too.  :)