Monday, 31 December 2012

Focus for 2013 & Restaurant Difficulty

Last year at this time I was searching in my life for ways to feel satisfied. I had gained back about 30 lbs of my 140lbs weight loss and was trying to figure out why and what to do about it.

This year I am at my lowest weight (172 for easy fact finding later on) and attempting to figure out where I will set my goal weight to be. I have a feeling that I'm pretty close to it, maybe about 10 lbs away? Guess we will find out when I get there...

Focus for 2013?

To exercise more often than not.

To maintain a portion appropriate diet.

To appreciate my husband for what he does and not complain about what he doesn't.

To positively effect the lives of any child that passes my way.

To travel to at least one place I've never been to before.

So that's that. "Resolution" is too strong a word for me, set up my all or nothing attitude which will leave me worse off by next December. Just stating a few things I would like to focus more on for the next 12 months. Much less pressure!

Also wanted to talk about something that I'm wondering if anyone else is dealing with? With my sister being in town, my family has eaten every meal out for the past 3 days and I gotta tell ya, chicken salads are wearing thin. Yesterday for lunch we went to a seafood restaurant on the beach that I had never been to and before arriving I was excited, thinking that I could order some point friendly fresh fish and rice (a seafood staple in my opinion) but when we got there everything was fried and my only other option was boiled shrimp, which I'm not a huge fan of. Totally ruined my mood!! I get so stressed out at restaurants! I get so mad at my limited choices eating out. What the hell do they put in that food to make a recipe I could easily make healthfully at home into a calorie laden fat fest in their restaurant kitchen?! Anyway, I ate the chicken salad again, and it was good and I left full, but still angry. I excused my husband and I from dinner with the rest of the family and came home annoyed, which triggered a binge. I ended up eating way more food at home! I would have been better off just eating the fried fish but I put so much pressure on myself when I know other people (my family) are watching me eat. Why do I do that?!

Anyone else dealing with the anxiety over eating out, mad about the limited healthy options, and dealing with the pressure of eating in public?

Hoping to get some good insight. But mostly wishing you all a VERY happy and successful year to come. What will your focus be in 2013?

Again, been getting messages almost every post now from new readers! So exciting! Want to welcome BEE and Poochie Ponder's to my ramblings. So happy to have you here! Welcome!!

Saturday, 29 December 2012


My sister is visiting from Texas. Most of you know how much she means to me, I've talked about her here many times.

I weighed in at 172.2 yesterday, though I won't be weighing in today after a day full of family food fun that may or may not have included an entire Gigi's cupcake to myself (SO good!) and some late night over indulging back at my house while I worked up an appetite moving things around with Hubby to create my very own, in-home gym! Santa brought me a step for step aerobics! Whoop!

I new have a step and two DVDs for it, a stability ball, 3,5,&8 lbs hand weights, and resistance bands. I am SO excited to create the space needed to use them! We are converting our office (which is really considered the dining room in our loft apartment). I will post pictures once its ready, but until then, here's my sister, me, and my mom yesterday. :)

Wednesday, 19 December 2012

Too thin?

I'm weighing in at my lowest weight now, this morning, 173.4.  It's exciting watching the scale go down, but looking at pictures, at this point, I tend to like how I look around 180 more.  I am a shapely woman, having developed an hour glass figure as a pre-teen, and I can see that fading into a more sharp, boney shape.  Also, I feel my face is looking a bit gaunt.  Too thin?  Not something I had ever considered struggling with...

According to the doctors' charts, my height and age indicate that I should weigh between 140lbs and 160 lbs.  I don't trust my BMI because I have so much loose skin, so I don't believe that number is accurate.  When I tell people I still have weight to lose to be in the prescribed weight range, people laugh?  Most of them tell me "Oh, you should just do what feels best to you."  Well, how will I know what feels best if I never try to be between 140 and 160?  I'm not naive  I know that doctors are really only giving their best guess of what would be healthy for a wide range of people, but why shouldn't I fit into that range?  I do think that I probably have about 10 lbs of skin to be removed at some point.  Taking that into account, I could really weigh around 163,  which would make my BMI to be about 26, which is still considered overweight.  It's extremely frustrating.  Will I ever be considered healthy?

My work schedule is completely crazy right now due to some unforeseen obstacles and I have not been able to get to my step aerobics classes nearly as much as I'd like to be lately.  I miss it!!!  I've asked Santa if he might bring me a step and a few videos for Christmas this year. :)  I really and truly HATE the elliptical and 45 minutes on it barely creates a dent in my activity points.  I earn just 3 activity points on the elliptical for 45 minutes compared to 8! for 40 minutes of step aerobics.  And, I just don't feel quite confident in my weight lifting ability to continue doing it on my own with the personal trainer quite yet.  Also, on the days I do weight lifting with the trainer, I feel hungry ALL DAY afterwards and struggle not to overeat.  It's an excuse, I know, but it's the truth.

So that's where I'm at right now.  I really appreciate those of you who enjoy reading my occasion weight loss ramblings.  I've even gotten message from a few new readers.  HI!!!  I'm so glad you're here!!!